Base Building

Signed up. Chose the T-Shirt size. Twenty weeks to go from Fatty to Fitty at Forty-Seven.

First things first. You can't just rock up to a Half Ironman and expect to romp through it. You have do the hard yards and get the basics right. So first things first. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and realised that I had to make some changes for this to work. So straight on to it. Leg Wax

Rebecca is the fastest waxer in the West (Cheshire). She can strip you hairless in under 30 minutes and still hold a conversation. But this is not as easy as it seems. I mean, for starters, how high do you go up the leg. Just to the 'lycra line' and when you go swim training in your budgie smugglers you are going to have hairy bike shorts. Alternatively, the 'back, sack and crack' is only going to end in abrasive tears once you get on the bike. The 'bikini line' seemed the most sensible suggestion but when it came down to it, neither of us could work out who should be holding the 'plum pocket' out of the way whilst I was stripped of my bollockular follicles.

The spray tan is next week. I am going for 'Mahogany Madras'.